Summary for the month of October 2021

I burned out.

I don’t know if I’m going to keep going but definitely not for a while. And, if I ever do more new videos, I’m not going to bother trying to do livestreams whilst I record them. I think I’m completely done with live streaming now.

I don’t know what will happen to this blog if I completely stop. I might just leave it, or at some point I might fold it into my personal blog, which I’ve not done anything with for years now either. But, they could be together and “sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock, in a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock”.

But, I’m just done. I can’t even. My very first stream was way back in Sept 2014. I just can’t end up having been doing this shit for 10 years, admittedly off and on, and nothing to show for it. And that’s what it will be if I keep trying with it until 2024, just around the corner. I’m clearly not going to find an audience. I’m either not doing what people want to watch, or not willing to do what needs to be done to get people to watch what I do. I’m just smashing my head against concrete for no reason. So, preemptively before reaching a decade, and finally after almost a decade, fuck it.

Anyhow, instead of streaming and posting videos this last month, I tried for a lot of October to try to pay for seats at games online, but off-camera. The first one was a one-shot that went okay. The second one was a two-shot that went pretty great. I thought at that point maybe things would go well, so I tried to schedule and play a bunch more. But, no, things got shitty and nothing else worked out. So, yeah, still not able to play well with others, I guess, for whatever and various reasons.

Anyhow, I did a little bit of stuff on YouTube. What stuff I did was in a single live stream, now unlisted. But, I edited and posted some stuff from that as separate videos.

Not that it matters, but there it is. *shrug*