Summary for the month of March 2019

Here’s a summary of activity for the month of March 2019.

I’ve been having a crisis of faith lately. I have sat down at my computer, thinking I’d stream something, and haven’t. I feel like there’s no point. I’ve been streaming, and trying to build something here on the blog, and had a Patron campaign at Patreon, and a Subscribe option on Bandcamp, a voice and chat server on Discord, and some other things … and I’ve been streaming for years now, off and on.

In the last month, and I’m not sure really how to talk about this, but when the Critical Role crowdfunding effort went off like epic fireworks, I started to feel even more depressed and discouraged than normal. It’s not jealousy, per se, as I think it’s awesome for them, and their success is deservedly phenomenal; but, I look at what I’ve been trying to do, without success, and have just felt like I’ve been wasting my time all this time, time time time.

Then another thing. I suppose everyone has their Star Trek captain, or Doctor Who, right? The one they think of first, and is probably the one they started to watch originally. Well, some day, maybe already, people will probably start talking about their first Streamer in the same way, maybe?

For the record, “my” captain is probably Janeway or Cisco, “my” Doctor used to be Peter Davidson, and remained so by just a hair for a very long time, out of nostalgia over how I liked his acting so much, though Tom Baker was both delightful and my “first”, until his comments about a female Doctor finally tipped it to David Tennant.

My first streamer was Ara_gaming. Ara_gaming was the reason I started to watch Twitch. I followed her to Twitch from the Sony Landmark actual play through videos. Ara_gaming is the reason I started streaming on Twitch. Her advice was “just start!” and I did. So, tongue-in-cheek, I blame Ara_gaming for everything.

The other day, Ara showed up in Echoics’ stream, another of the first couple of streamers I watched, after years of absence from Twitch, as a guest. That was cool to see, and definitely cool after so long. I’m happy that things ending for her own stream career was for the best, and that she and Echoics are still in contact. It was nifty to see her again, and remember those early days.

But, I started to think about how little has changed for me as a streamer over the years since I started. I’m a Twitch Affiliate, but I never gained any ongoing patronage or subscribers or even a regular audience in any of these or related places. I’ve met people online and in person, I’ve had people get to know me and hang out irregularly, and all that’s super cool. But, still, most of the time, I’ve streamed with no one watching. And, as I watch my own archived videos, I’ve never gotten to the point where my own views are not significantly the majority.

My attempts to stream games, and whatnot, is a kind of art project. There’s also the annual music anthology I put together as well … and so forth. It’s good to have something to be busy with that’s fun and creative, even silly. Part of my streaming is about this idea I got, kinda modified from something someone I know said about writing book reviews. There’s a guy I know that reads, no, really, a shit ton, and he writes some kind of review for every one of them. Even if it is just a few lines. He said his rule is that if it is worth the time to read the thing, it’s worth writing some kind of review about it. He’s a damned machine, but it’s an idea that I’ve tried to use. So streaming, for me, is about how if I’m going to play games, I need to have some kind of creative output about that. Playing and grinding in a game, video or tabletop, without something to say or show for it is something I try to avoid by making streams or something at least.

But, at what point does it not make sense to put out the energy to plan and do and post these things publicly anymore if there’s no audience?

When I was in high school theatre, the teacher used to talk about how sports can be played without an audience, because the scores still matter and get recorded and have an effect on the season. But, for theatre, if there’s no audience, it’s not still a thing. I suppose theatre without an audience is just a rehearsal, really. And, in essence, I’ve been in open rehearsals as a streamer for years now. Maybe I should accept that there’s no audience and the show will never open.

Adam Koebel, in a recent stream, said something that kinda struck me hard. He said, “Content is a magical thing. As long as people will watch it, it’s worth doing.”

So, I’ve been okay with not having an audience, because it was part of an overall project. I had a reason to stream even if no one was watching. I had a reason to tweet, even if no one was listening. I had a reason to blog, even if no one was reading.

But, maybe I’ve been wrong about that. Maybe I should accept that whatever I’m doing is simply not of interest to other people, and doing it publicly is just wasted effort. I … think I’ve found the core problem with my streaming strategy. Actually, to be honest, this equally calls into question all of my strategies for anything and, moreover, my life choices. But, maybe that’s a little much to fully contemplate at the moment, all at once. And, it’s pretty much way too late in the game for me to change my entire life now, though I can mix things up and rearrange the deck chairs …

So, I’ve realized this month that I’ve lost the faith. I’ve given up each time I’ve sat down to start streaming. I’ve just not done it, though I could have, again, and once more, tried to keep to the project. I’ve got ideas I meant to do for streams, including continuing with video games, Illimat, and Gloomhaven, and starting up new series of Invisible Sun and Weave, and maybe other stuff. But, again, I’ve sat down to do them and ended up not doing them.

Welp. Okay then. I don’t know that I’m done streaming, but I think I’m done thinking of myself as a streamer. My first stream was back in September 2014, and my latest stream was almost a month ago. I’ve had ups and downs, and periods of streaming every day and periods of not being able to stream for various reasons. I don’t know that I won’t stream again, but I think I’m done with the project. Any bits or subs I had never reached over or near $75, so Twitch will end up keeping all of it; and eventually I’d imagine they might remove me from the Affiliate program, but who knows? (Their ways are mysterious!) I’ve shut down my patronage campaign. I’ve removed the option to subscribe to the anthology. I temporarily killed my social media accounts, but ended up keeping them active-ish. I’m going to stop posting, as I’ve been wont to do, monthly calls for submissions, or the other monthly reminders about my overall project. I don’t know if I’ll downgrade my Internet connectivity, but if I’m not streaming I sure don’t need all that bandwidth anymore.

I’m sad, tired, and disappointed, to be honest. But, okay, after this month, I guess I can accept now that the overall project is at least dormant, if not dead. The project is dead, long live the project! Nah, if it still moves, it’s probably just undead, trying to eat my brain.

Thanks to anyone that has read, watched, or soever, over the years. Thanks, if you’re not just me re-reading this for any mistakes, to you for reading this. I hate the “I’m leaving” trope, but this is, in fact, the summary of my last month. And, there it is.

Posts on the blog this last month

Here’s videos and streams

Summary for the month of February 2019

Here’s a summary of activity for the month of February 2019.

Still streaming irregularly, but I did a bunch of Gloomhaven and Illimat sessions, as well as a couple of video games I got to check out. I’ve soured a bit on Illimat, which I’ve posted about a bit already; but I’ll keep posting and playing it when I feel up to it. Gloomhaven is still fun, and there’s lots left to do. For Gloomhaven, I may be doing something with the other team, Villainous Mercenaries, soon, and I’ve been thinking I’d change up the plan a bit so they, or the other party, Heroic Misfits, aren’t completely sidelined whilst the other is playing.

Also, I may have gone a bit crazy and summoned a Black Cube. I don’t know for sure if my conjuration will take effect, but there’s that. There’s a bunch of other things I’d love to play too, like Weave: Storytelling Redefined and Dungeon Degenerates: Hand of Doom and Expedition: The Roleplaying Card Game and … and … Oh my! Anyone got some lucky lottery numbers or know someone on the inside?

NeXT Invisible Borg Sun Cube

I’ve been thinking for a long time about ways to enable audience interaction in my gaming. I’ve gone back and forth on how that would be implemented and what it would do or not do. I settled on something that I’m going to try out, and we’ll see how it goes. I don’t know if anyone will jump in and make stuff happen when I’m streaming, but I wanted to have a way and have thought about it ahead of time.

Will you bestow a boon or cast a curse?

What I settled on was a way for people to “bestow a boon” or “cast a curse” via the Streamlabs overlay. that appears on the video as I’m streaming, for loyalty points that are automatically accumulated just by watching or by using cheers with bits, sold by Twitch for about 1¢ each. That way no one is left out, and everyone has a way to participate if they want; but also makes these interactions have a reasonable cost that will help to avoid antisocial things such as spamming and sniping. These are ways for people watching to create effects using the game mechanics and become part of the action as I play tabletop board and roleplaying games.

For 250 loyalty points or 2,500 bits, you can bestow a boon or beneficial effect on a character in game. For 1,000 loyalty points or 10,000 bits, you can cast a curse that creates an ill effect in game. Primarily for tabletop games, and what kind of boon or effect may be possible will depend on the game being played, but you can send your mystical or malevolent powers through the aethers!

Cool! It’ll be fun to see how it goes!

Rigaroga is a technologist lost in the wilderness, having adventures in geekery and nerdy mishegoss. Odd Order is a place for Rigaroga, friends, and acquaintances to gather online.

Come watch, subscribe, and cheer me for IRL, games, and roleplaying streamed live on my Twitch channel.

Watch archived streams and other videos over on my YouTube channel.

Support the stream (Tips appear on stream!), subscribe on Bandcamp, or become an ongoing Patron, get gratis music downloads, and help me geek out!

Want to join me on this blog and create new art or writing for Odd Order? Pitch your Idea!

Consider also checking out what I’m up to over on my personal blog and at Hermetic Library.

Posts on the blog this last month

Here’s videos and streams

Summary for the month of January 2019

Here’s a summary of activity for the month of January 2019.

Finally got back to streaming, and started a couple new, hopefully, ongoing series. Honestly, it has been hard to stay motivated, and I’ve not been streaming as often, or regularly, as I had been before. But, I keep on keeping on, as one does … just slowly, irregularly.

My experiment with streaming, late last year, directly from an Nvidia Shield TV has been a disappointment, and so I’ve not been using that. I still have some hope that I’ll find a way to make it work, but unless I can afford something external to the Shield TV that enables streaming like an Elgato Cam Link or Game Capture HD 60 S … it’s probably not going to happen. The built-in streaming is just not good enough for me, in several ways, and, to be frank, I’m not sure it’s good enough for anyone. I was super excited that they added that feature back after removing it, but, nope. Can’t recommend the built-in streaming to anyone, I’m afraid. Take a look at those archived streams, and you’ll see what I mean: unstable streaming, unstable networking, bad and missing audio, desynced audio, weird apparently-hardcoded time limits for streaming, overwrites the Twitter category … Well, it was worth a try, I guess.

I’m still using the device, though not for live streaming myself; and I’ve not switched to my (truly awful) Amazon Fire TV Stick, Apple TV, regular Google Chromecast, or even my blu ray player since adding the Shield TV to my A/V mix. So, it’s been nice to have, but not quite for what I’d hoped to be using it for …

Last year I cancelled all my subscription services (Amazon Prime, Hulu, Netflix, &c.), and had been living off free services, like specific apps with free episodes, YouTube, Epix (through my Internet provider), Hoopla (through my local library; check if your library offers it!), even trying Pluto TV, and so forth; including all the many movies and TV shows I have in the past purchased. I set up and configured Movies Anywhere which helped consolidate a ton of movies from different services, including all the movies I’d gotten through iTunes and hadn’t been able to watch at all whilst my desktop was dead unless I fired up my, significantly outdated, Apple TV. Anyhow, if you’re like me, and have a lot of digital movies purchase within a particular walled-garden, consider using Movies Anywhere to make those available using devices that are connected to different walled-gardens. I didn’t really even know about that service until I started to configure my Shield TV, but I’m glad I figured that out.

I re-subscribed to Netflix for 1 month. I waited until Jan 18th, because I figured out that was a sweet spot for a bunch of things already available and things that are releasing before I cancel again at 30 days. I’ll probably sign up again in April, when new Sabrina and She-Ra, and maybe some other stuff by then and over the next month, are available. But, it’s just not worth it, to me, to stay subscribed. And, the higher Netflix raises their monthly fees, the less often it makes sense to me to re-subscribe.

So, this last month I’ve caught up on a bunch of things, like Punisher s02, the Sabrina midwinter episode, She-Ra, The Magicians s03, Polar, and more. Tangentially, I also watched Star Trek: Discovery s02e01 for free over on YouTube, and watched the “lost Captain Sulu pilot” that was Star Trek New Adventures episode World Enough And Time. Still dislike Star Trek: Discovery, and I really should write up my thoughts about it, maybe … but, wow, World Enough And Time was way better than I expected, and how did I miss that it existed? Also, the introduction by Marc Zicree was interesting.

Welp. I’m sure I’ve forgotten to mention a lot of other things this month I should, but, there it is.

Rigaroga is a technologist lost in the wilderness, having adventures in geekery and nerdy mishegoss. Odd Order is a place for Rigaroga, friends, and acquaintances to gather online.

Come watch, subscribe, and cheer me for IRL, games, and roleplaying streamed live on my Twitch channel.

Watch archived streams and other videos over on my YouTube channel.

Support the stream (Tips appear on stream!), subscribe on Bandcamp, or become an ongoing Patron, get gratis music downloads, and help me geek out!

Want to join me on this blog and create new art or writing for Odd Order? Pitch your Idea!

Consider also checking out what I’m up to over on my personal blog and at Hermetic Library.

Posts on the blog this last month

Here’s videos and streams

Summary for the year 2018

Here’s a summary of Rigaroga and Odd Order activity for the year 2018.

Every year there’s so much going on, I’m sure I’m going to miss some things. Consider going through all past summaries for more details about what was going on each week of last year. However, here’s some important things that come to my mind immediately.

Personally there was a lot going on for me. The place I had been living was sold. I moved across the country, with everything and cats, in almost an exact reverse of the historical Oregon Trail. I had my computer die, and went through a 4+ month ordeal of trying to get it fixed. And, all the sundry trials and tribulations one goes through …

But, I suppose, the biggest news this year is that I became a Twitch Affiliate in March! Moving across country and losing my streaming capable machine really took a chunk out of my year, and ground my ability to stream to a halt. But, hey, it happened! I mean, that’s something! And, I’ve just recently been able to get back to streaming again!

In 2018, I became a bit demoralized and disappointed in both the community of streamers I had been active in and also in all the groups I had been doing streamed actual play tabletop rpg games with … so, I’ve left those behind and have been trying to decide what to do next in that regard.

Once burned, twice shy as far as community goes, I’m afraid; and I don’t think I’ll be trying that again. On reflection, not only were my recent attempts to participate in community foiled, but I have to recall that even in the past attempts to start Twitch PDX didn’t pan out either. I should just come to grips with the fact that I have some kind of life long thirst for community that has never, and I fear will never, be met. So, accepting that, what’s next? I don’t know how to deal with that chronic unmet feeling of needing community. That’s what I’m going to try to figure out. One some level, I think I just need to make peace with that itch that cannot be scratched, and not allow myself to be distracted trying to scratch that sweet spot I cannot reach.

Mostly, I’ll probably keep talking to myself, as one does, case in point, online, on blog and stream and video. I mean, the cats look at me like I’ve lost my mind when I appear to be talking to no one, someone other than them; but, they seem to mostly okay with my insanity, as long as food, water, petting, and treats continue to be served.

I did do a number of interviews with people who are streamers or in the streaming community over the course of the year. That’s something I’ve come to enjoy doing, originally as part of a streamer community, and then as an outsider of another streamer community. Now that I’m not going to be directly or indirectly involved in those communities, I’d like to keep doing interviews but will need to stretch my wings and reach out to others if I am to continue them.

Trying to satisfy my desire to play tabletop roleplaying games, on the other hand, I have decided to try Gloomhaven by Isaac Childres, from Cephalofair, solitaire, as a substitute. We’ll see how that goes!

Hopefully this will help me both in playing without a group and also help minimize the massive and daunting extra off-camera effort I had to make whilst doing my previous solo roleplaying video series. But, I’ve got the game, and I’m waiting on some organizational bits at the moment. Once I’ve got some of the organization sorted, I’m planning on diving in, and live streaming whilst trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing. Fun!

I did already do one Gloomhaven Unboxing live stream on Twitch, which is now archived on YouTube, so the insanity has begun, and will, no doubt, intensify.

This year, I released BIT NIBBLE BYTE, the 2018 issue and third Odd Order Anthology. The newest release joins all the others, and they’re all great! Check them all out, and check out the anthology album post on the blog for the artists who participate.

Odd Order Anthology 2018 BIT NIBBLE BYTE

I recently created a process to pitch ideas for submissions to the Odd Order blog. This hasn’t been as active as I had hoped. The only submission to make it through the process this last year was Power Up Gamers and L’gat’s Tome of Amazing Creatures. This is the only guest post so far, but I’d hoped that there would be more. Eventually with the generous support from Patrons or Subscribers on either Bandcamp or Twitch, I hope to increase the available honorarium to further encourage submissions. But at least I am still able to offer a small honorarium along with gratitude and gratis anthology download codes!

Rigaroga is a technologist lost in the wilderness, having adventures in geekery and nerdy mishegoss. Odd Order is a place for Rigaroga, friends and acquaintances to gather online.

Come watch, subscribe, and cheer me for IRL, games, and roleplaying streamed live on my Twitch channel.

Watch archived streams and other videos over on my YouTube channel.

Support the stream (Tips appear on stream!), subscribe on Bandcamp, or become an ongoing Patron, get gratis music downloads, and help me geek out!

Want to join me on this blog and create new art or writing for Odd Order? Pitch your Idea!

Consider also checking out what I’m up to over on my personal blog and at Hermetic Library.

Top ten posts on the blog last year

Top ten watched videos on my YouTube channel

Summary for the week ending Aug 5, 2018

Here’s a summary of activity for the week ending August 5th, 2018.

Oh, wow. It’s been a week of technical difficulties, and it isn’t over yet. My machine has been crashing. Not just crashing, but randomly and intermittently snapping off. Completely powered off without warning or shutdown process. I’ve been trying to diagnose what’s going on, and I keep eliminating things that could be the cause, trying everything from adding a UPS to OS version to startup applications and so on, and am left scratching my head a bit. Right now I’m suspicious of the power supply and the graphics card. I’d definitely think it was the power supply, except, and this has me a bit baffled, the machine does not seem to crash when in safe mode; so perhaps this has something to do with the graphics card, which wouldn’t be used the same way in safe mode?

Ugh! It’s a mystery, and not the fun kind!

While in a bit of despair about the potential cost of repair or replacement, neither of which I can afford; I discovered that I have 1 week left of my extended AppleCare coverage! Wow, that’s a bright spot in troubling time, that is. So, I’ve been talking with AppleCare about what to do. It’s not fixed, but, you know, there’s at least some hope now.

With that said, somehow I managed to do a bunch of streaming in spite of the crashes, though I have not been scheduling posts to the Odd Order blog, as I just haven’t been thinking about that much whilst everything else is going on.

Welp. These days have been a snafu, perhaps even a fiasco, but at least it isn’t yet the fubar I feared it was.

Still, all is not well. I’m not sure I’ll be able to stream at all this week, and for as long as my main machine is down I am pretty much out of luck for doing much work. I’m limping along as I am able.

Wish me luck on getting all this resolved!

In other news, Gen Con happened in my extended neck of the woods. It was only a few hours away, but I just couldn’t make it happen. Maybe next year? I don’t know, but it would be awesome to go, to be sure!

Don’t forget that I’ve announced the call for submissions to the Odd Order anthology album for 2018, which is themed BIT NIBBLE BYTE!

Come watch, subscribe, and cheer me for IRL, games, and roleplaying streamed live on my Twitch channel.

Become an ongoing Patron, get gratis music downloads, and help me geek out!

Want to join me on this blog and create new art or writing for Odd Order? Pitch your Idea!

Consider also checking out what I’m up to over on my personal blog and at Hermetic Library.

Here’s videos and streams

Here’s some popular social media posts

Summary for the week ending Jul 29, 2018

Here’s a summary of activity for the week ending July 29, 2018.

I have to admit it. I’m pretty demoralized about this project right now. I’ve been doing other things instead, for the most part. I participated in my 20th episode of the Spelljammer campaign, which means there’s now around 2 whole days of roleplaying game actual play in that playlist. Pretty cool, even still.

Don’t forget that I’ve announced the call for submissions to the Odd Order anthology album for 2018, which is themed BIT NIBBLE BYTE!

Come watch, subscribe, and cheer me for IRL, games, and roleplaying streamed live on my Twitch channel.

Become an ongoing Patron, get gratis music downloads, and help me geek out!

Want to join me on this blog and create new art or writing for Odd Order? Pitch your Idea!

Consider also checking out what I’m up to over on my personal blog and at Hermetic Library.

Here’s a summary of posts on the blog from last week

Here’s videos and streams

Here’s some popular social media posts

Summary for the week ending Jul 22, 2018

Here’s a summary of activity for the week ending July 22, 2018.

This last week I was on the struggle-bus trying to figure out technical issues. First, my machine kept powering down randomly. I thought I’d detected some patterns, but kept ruling things out. Not OS version, not current application, not a startup application, or anything else. Burn the candle at both ends and when the flame goes out somewhere in the middle then there is the fault. I ended up thinking that I might have a power issue, either in the power supply or in the actual supply from the wall. Strange to hope that there’s something wrong with the house wiring or the power to the neighborhood, but in many ways those faults would be better than having to replace the power supply in my machine; an out-of-warranty iMac all-in-one, with the nearest service center several towns away. So, I ordered a new UPS. To be fair, either way, I figured, I’ve been needing one anyway. There’s lots of thunderstorms here too, so I need one even more than I have before. Well, I’ve been running on the UPS for several days and, crossing my fingers, I have not yet had another power down issue. Solved? I don’t know, but I’m hoping.

O HAI UPS plz gib TEH POWER!

A post shared by Rigaroga (@rigaroga) on

Then, on Saturday, the Murphy corollary that covers streamers and technology kicked in, and for some reason I couldn’t get audio to route from the Discord app to OBS anymore even though I’d not changed any settings … other than restoring the OS from backup, re-upgrading, and doing all kinds of things like that … um. Yeah. Anyhow: What. the. hell. So, for the Spelljammer game I had to resort to using Discord in a browser, which meant that push-to-talk on worked when the browser tab with Discord in it had focus. Oy! I survived, for the most part, but of course there were times I didn’t manage to get the focus correct and audio levels were not ideal. Oh, well. It’s not like that sort of thing is unexpected. Seriously. Streaming is the most technical-fault producing activity I’ve ever engaged in. The gremlins love to play tricks on streamers.

Anyhow, my machine was turned off for most of the week, as I just didn’t want to have something else go wrong, or for one of the power down events to damage something more than was already wrong.

Don’t forget that I’ve announced the call for submissions to the Odd Order anthology album for 2018, which is themed BIT NIBBLE BYTE!

Come watch, subscribe, and cheer me for IRL, games, and roleplaying streamed live on my Twitch channel.

Become an ongoing Patron, get gratis music downloads, and help me geek out!

Want to join me on this blog and create new art or writing for Odd Order? Pitch your Idea!

Consider also checking out what I’m up to over on my personal blog and at Hermetic Library.

Here’s a summary of posts on the blog from last week

Here’s videos and streams

Here’s some popular social media posts

Summary for the week ending Jul 15, 2018

Here’s a summary of activity for the week ending July 15, 2018.

Getting back to streaming has taken a hit. The weather has been super hot, so my machine has been over-heating; and it recently started to simply, randomly shutdown. Not reliable enough to use for anything. I’m currently on the struggle bus with my laptop for even doing this update. I’m not sure what to do. But, I’ll try a few things and hope for the best. If my machine is kaput, then I’m done streaming until I can come up with another machine, and that’s going to be painful to have to do, and take some time to accomplish. I’m in a bit of a funk, to be honest. Oh, well.

Hey, but, at least one of my fan theories was vindicated this weekend!

Don’t forget that I’ve announced the call for submissions to the Odd Order anthology album for 2018, which is themed BIT NIBBLE BYTE!

Come watch, subscribe, and cheer me for IRL, games, and roleplaying streamed live on my Twitch channel.

Become an ongoing Patron, get gratis music downloads, and help me geek out!

Want to join me on this blog and create new art or writing for Odd Order? Pitch your Idea!

Consider also checking out what I’m up to over on my personal blog and at Hermetic Library.

Here’s a summary of posts on the blog from last week

Here’s videos and streams

Here’s some popular social media posts